Learning boundaries
Pets give clear but gentle lessons in consent, autonomy & personal space.
A cat’s playful bite or a dog’s quiet growl is more than animalistic behaviour, it's boundaries made visible. By reading these cues we get daily, a childs social reconigtion skills are sharpened. They learn to respect personal space, understand consent, and recognize when someone needs a break.
“There is growing evidence that children turn to their pets for comfort, reassurance, and emotional support when feeling anger, sadness, or happiness.”
How it works
Three subtle stages of social growth every pet parent goes through
01
Observation Becomes Empathy
The moment a child notices their kitten prefers gentle strokes, they instinctively connect sensation with feeling, the beginnings of empathy.
02
Responsibility Becomes Routine
Daily feeding and walks create structure and routine. The emerging habits become a blueprint for self‑management in other parts of life.
03
Attachment Becomes Resilience
Bonds with animals provide safe emotional support. Over time, this turns into a stronger emotional foundation during times of stress.
Individualistic Boundaries
Boundaries can also be learned in ways not directly shown by the pets.
In a virtual therapy dog session, a psychiatric patient could detach emotionally from his situation and institutional identity by thinking and reconnecting to memories of his pet relationships in the past. As one clinician described, the session “allows the
patient to leave the drama of being on the unit… It’s a checkout, so to speak.”
Stress Management
Pet ownership is found to have a relationship with lower stress levels and strong emotional control and resilience. This is because pets often provide a constant source of comfort, acting as anchors in people's everyday lives. They give the safety an individual needs when overcome with an emotional situation, and they provide an outlet for it as well. Just by caring for a pet's needs, people learn how to manage their own life, their boundaries, and their stress.
“Considering research suggesting mental health benefits of pet ownership, this study explores the relationship between pet ownership, social support… in a cohort of students.”
Social Development
Children and teens who grow up with a pet of their own often show a good level of social awareness, sensitivity to social and physical boundaries, and responsibility.
In a study by Jacobson and Change, this was seen when pet owners reported their children had "lower delinquency and higher empathy than non‑owners… though these effects became non‑significant after demographic factors were controlled.”
Quality of Life
Regular routines like feeding, walking, buying toys give owners a sense of control that boosts mental well‑being and life satisfaction.
“Pet ownership is the most common form of human‑animal interaction, and anecdotally, it can lead to improved physical and mental health for owners.”
Hospice patients describe pets as “life savers” that help them manage PTSD and anxiety (Aotearoa New Zealand Social Work)
Bibliography
- Barker, S. B., Schubert, C. M., Barker, R. T., Kuo, S. I-C., Kendler, K. S., & Dick, D. M. (2020). The relationship between pet ownership, social support, and internalizing symptoms in students from the first to the fourth year of college. Applied Developmental Science, 24(3), 279–293. https://doi.org/10.1080/10888691.2018.1476148
- Gómez-Leal, R., Costa, A., Megías-Robles, A., Fernández-Berrocal, P., & Faria, L. (2021). Relationship between emotional intelligence and empathy towards humans and animals. PeerJ, 9, e11274. https://doi.org/10.7717/peerj.11274
- Jacobson, K. C., & Chang, L. (2018). Associations between pet ownership and attitudes toward pets with youth socio-emotional outcomes. Frontiers in Psychology, 9, 2304. https://doi.org/10.3389/fpsyg.2018.02304
- Kerr-Little, A., McGrath, C., & Muldoon, O. T. (2023). The Role of Pet Ownership in Supporting Recovery from Substance Use: A Qualitative Study of Human-Animal Interactions. Human–Animal Interactions. https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC10523709/
- Purewal, R., Christley, R., Kordas, K., Joinson, C., Meints, K., Gee, N., & Westgarth, C. (2017). Companion animals and child/adolescent development: A systematic review of the evidence. International Journal of Environmental Research and Public Health, 14(3), 234. https://doi.org/10.3390/ijerph14030234
- Scheck, H., Williamson, L., & Dell, C. A. (2022). Understanding psychiatric patients’ experience of virtual animal-assisted therapy sessions during the COVID-19 pandemic. People and Animals: The International Journal of Research and Practice, 5(1), Article 6. https://docs.lib.purdue.edu/paij/vol5/iss1/6/
- Scoresby, K. J., Strand, E. B., Ng, Z., Brown, K. C., Stilz, C. R., Strobel, K., Barroso, C. S., & Souza, M. (2021). Pet ownership and quality of life: A systematic review of the literature. Veterinary Sciences, 8(12), 332. https://doi.org/10.3390/vetsci8120332